On April 18, 2009 Clark’s Trading Post held a talent search to replace their beloved Wolfman Bill who had retired after 15 years.
During the audition process, there was a young banjo playing Wolfman, there were loud and quiet Wolfmen and there were young and old Wolfmen. The judges were looking for one Wolfman, but in the end, they found two contestants that they just couldn’t live without!
Tim Ryan from Pittsfield, NH is a very believable character. He is extremely clever and has his own unique style. He goes by the name of “Timber” and will be the full time Wolfman. You will see why dogs don’t bother him….more than once. He promises to put on a great show for those of you who are brave enough to ride the steam train into Wolfman’s Territory!
John Smith of Sugar Hill, NH was a fantastic actor who made the judges laugh. His creativity and good humor will win the hearts of Wolfman fans all summer long. And just wait until you hear him howl. They say his IQ is off the scale….which end is not quite clear. John will be the part time Wolfman. You will see one of these two characters each day trying to scare people off their land.
See how these two men stole our hearts and why they were chosen as the next Wolfmen at Clark’s Trading Post.
As the World debates the character of this famous backwoods recluse, our staff reporter (janitor and all round handyman) was able to obtain an exclusive interview with the “man” himself and report these hitherto unknown facts:
He does not have an offensive odor, at least to other woodland creatures.
His mean-ness is only outdone by his uglyness. His ability to fly off the handle has never been accurately measured.
His appetite has kept all manner of small game and insects at a tolerable level.
Science has never fully cataloged all the parasitic creatures which inhabit his personal self.
His legendary ability to hunt is only exceeded by his ability to evade taxes or any other form of payment for any goods or services.
His prolonged use of “Unobtainium” for various purposes has rendered him un-photographable due to severe auroscopicdihectofractionistic distortion.
He is known to like children although he prefers chicken or strawberries, in season.
Dogs don’t bother him – more than once.
His IQ is apparently off the scale – which end is not quite clear.
He was evidently married at one time and still suffers from the effects.
It is not clear if “Wolfman” is his first name or last and he would not verify the rumor that he was once called Cedric, becoming quite huffy at the suggestion.